I feel like the fabric that has held my life together has been pulled taught. And between the separated strands new things have been allowed to leak in like an intrusive breeze. I'm still undecided whether it's good thing, or something to remedy.
Welcome to the process.
Sometimes adjustment requires some core shakings. I'm aware of that, but, this is a different level of uncomfort. This has dire repercussions. Eternity hangs like water on this particular thread. And that's the weight I'm digging away at. There's a metaphoric pile of something on the path I call life. I'm not even sure what it is. But it covers the only thing that has been a constant. It's heavy in that sense. The one constant in my life feels like a vase knocked off a table. It was something beautiful, but it's spread like pain on the floor, it's insides exposed and open to be prodded.
One of two things can happen. Either it'll be deemed worthless collected into a pile and thrown away. Or what we've all been looking for will have spilt from it's insides. It's that simple. And yet it's more than that. It's complicated like life.
You want to know what this whole thing is over. Well I'm not even sure what to call it. I can't seem to articulate what it is or what happened. Somewhere between me and my keyboard the words are disappearing like spilt coins in a busy street.
I don't like it. In fact I hate it.
But... That's where things are.
This will change my life. I'll be throwing away a vase I dearly love, or it'll spill it's life like blood, and re-colour my dulling peripheries.
And on that bombshell....
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